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  Smoke rises in a steady stream across the gray sky. It blends in seconds making it seem like the gray stone building is a mirage—it makes my chest hurt.

  I’m starting to forget. It’s gotten worse as the days continue. I can still feel the blood from the cannibals on my hands, under my nail beds—it’s probably pumping through my veins in some way, shape or form.

  A gunshot echoes through the trees. My head snaps in the direction of the fort. A soldier in one of the towers raises his head from his rifle. Cheers erupt from outside the walls—they killed another one of them.

  I close my eyes trying to remember how many of them from Earl’s crew are left. That one makes number three in three days time. But that’s as far as I can remember. After that I start seeing the blood. I feel Earl’s skin under the pressure of my grip. I remember the satisfaction of feeling him die at my hands—

  Xavier.Hayley’s voice comes from thin air. I grip the tree trunk tighter.Don’t think of things like that. Try and remember how things were.

  I lean my forehead against the damp bark. “I can’t Hayles,” I admit. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to remember. The memories from before leaving them I’m sure were in my head somewhere waiting to be rediscovered. The only thing I have now is surviving. Surviving doesn’t mean bringing your past into things to muddy up the present. I left them buried in my head because some part of me knew they would get me killed.

  That’s not fair.

  “I know it isn’t,” I respond to her voice. I look back at the soldiers dragging the dead cannibal from the forest. They tie ropes around its ankles and arms so they can make another warning sign to hang in the trees. “But this isn’t where anyone should be.”

  I thought I would’ve seen Hayley and Aisley again by now. Six months and not even a peep about their lives. I thought the worst was over. But watching those soldiers string up their third body like a new piece of wall art—I know things are changing. They’re falling apart and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

  June

  July

  August

  September

  October

  November

  Dust

  One Year

  The House: December, 2013

  “Hands in the air,” I hear from behind me.

  Hunter lets out a growl. I raise my hands and hold my knife in a tight fist.

  “Drop it,” the voice says. “Drop it, or I’ll blow the back of your skull away.”

  “I’m trying to survive god dammit,” I say tossing the knife to the side. “I’m hunting.” I feel the small circular hole of a muzzle poke into the base of my neck.

  “For what?” the voice says.

  “Deer mostly,” I say. “Or anything I can land an arrow in.”

  “Do humans fall on that list?”

  “No.” The muzzle slides off my neck, and I hear branches crunch under a heel. I turn, gripping the barrel of the pistol and rip it from my attacker’s hands. She lets off a round before I disarm her.

  I release the clip onto the ground and fire off the remaining bullet into the forest behind us. “Now,” I say. “Can we have a normal conversation?”

  She lets out a long sigh and folds her arms across her chest. “Well, seeing as you didn’t put that last bullet in my chest,” she says. “I’ll give you sixty seconds to convince me not to have you killed.”

  “Listen, my dog and I are hunting for food. We’re sleeping in a shed about five miles from Fort Ticonderoga. I’m waiting for my chance to get in.”

  She laughs. “Why would you want to go in there?”

  “Because it’s—”

  “Safe?” she says. “Take a look around, the definition of safe has changed.”

  “There is no such thing as safety,” I say tossing the pistol on the ground. “You think I haven’t notice that for the year I’ve been living in the woods? You think I haven’t noticed more and more people turning into psychos the longer the food has been missing?”

  “Why have you stayed out here a year?”

  “Because I left my family back at that fort!”

  “Yeah, so did I,” she says pursing her lips together in a thin straight line. “Got any other reason you’re wandering out here by yourself?”

  I frown and look her over from top to bottom. She looks well fed, no signs she’s been running, surviving like Hunter and I have.

  He barks at me and then turns his head back to her and shows his teeth.

  “Looks like sixty seconds is up,” she says glancing down at her watch. She picks up my knife and her pistol from the ground. “Follow me.”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because you shouldn’t have to wait alone out here during a New York winter,” she says. “The house is much better suited for that.”

  I let out a sigh through my nostrils.

  “Hey, it’s up to you,” she says holding up her hands. “You can go back to your shack or you can come sleep in a warm bed and eat well tonight.”

  I look down at Hunter and he whines before laying down at my feet in the snow. “All right,” I say. “Come on, let’s go.”

  We trudge through the forest in a thick silence. I don’t feel like talking. I barely know this girl, but it seems she has a better place where we can stay. I need to think about the future—about getting Hayley and Aisley back. This place could be a good safe zone, for lack of a better term.

  “So your dog,” she says after a couple minutes of silence. “Did you have him before all of this?”

  “No.”

  “Oh,” she says slowing her pace to match mine. “How’d you get him?”

  “I killed his mother,” I say. “Didn’t have much of a choice.”

  “I haven’t seen a domesticated dog in quite some time,” she says. “The kids at the house’ll love it.”

  “What house?”

  “Well, it sounds like you’re not planning on leaving the area for a while,” she says. “So, I’m offering you a spot with us.”

  “Listen, I’m not gonna be part of some cult or anything,” I say. “The last cult that tried get me to join them had some sick hobbies. And to be honest, I lost my family’s the only thing that’s on my mind—”

  “We all lost someone.” She stops and turns towards me. Hunter steps in between her and I letting out a low growl in the process.

  “Hunter,” I say. He sits in between my feet with his lip snarling.

  “Everyone at the house lost someone. Loved ones, acquaintances, strangers—and whoever it may be has changed us and brought us closer there,” she says. “You and I both care about someone who’s stuck inside the fort’s walls. The offer to join us is open. If you don’t want to stay with us, then go back to your shed and stay off our land.”

  She stomps off in the opposite direction towards a clearing in the trees. Hunter paws at my leg and whines.

  “You think we should go still?”

  He tilts his head and pants.

  “All right,” I say. Hunter takes off ahead of me until he’s on the girl’s heels. I guess we’ll give it a shot. “If this goes south, I’m blaming it on him.”

  We walk the rest of the way through the forest without exchanging words. I don’t mind. After a year of having a dog as a companion, you get used to silence.

  “Welcome to the house,” she says.

  The house really isn’t your ordinary home. It’s more of a mansion. The tall white pillars tower over us like some omniscient presence standing watch. It reminds me of the columns I saw in history textbooks when I was in high school. The entire house is encased in gray stones. They’re not identical to the ones at Fort Ticonderoga—these ones carry a light green moss to them showing how long the outside has been untouched. We walk up concrete stairs and through red oak front doors into a foyer.

  “Inspection,” a voice says. I look to my left down the barrel of a shotgun into the black-hole eyes of a teenage girl.

  “Take off your shirt and pants.”<
br />
  “What? You’re not even gonna take me out for dinner first?”

  “Pants. Shirt. Now.”

  Hunter growls at her and barks. I hold my hand and shake my head at him. He lays down and flops his head between his feet. While pulling my shirt off, I can hear the rest of the room go quiet. I look down at the bruises and markings that litter my skin. What—has no one seen battle scars before?

  “What happened to your teeth,” shotgun girl asks nodding to me.

  “Got them knocked out with a crowbar. Then, I was drugged and left in the woods to die shortly after.”

  “Oh,” she says and turns her head away when I undo my belt.

  “We’ll get Doc to see what we can do for that situation once you get cleared and cleaned up,” my escort says.

  “Are you ok with us taking some blood,” an older man asks.

  “Do I really have a choice?” I ask shrugging my shoulders.

  Another person comes from behind a door and motions for me to sit down. I walk over to a rickety wooden chair and hold out my arm.

  “This is just a precaution,” the man with the needle says.

  “Yeah, I got that.” I turn to Hunter and reach out my other hand. He plops his blockhead onto my leg and lets out a hushed whimper.

  “Have you had any venereal diseases?”

  “No.”

  “Health problems?”

  “No.”

  “Were you bitten by any of the wendigos out there?”

  “Not this crap again,” I say pinching the bridge of my nose. “They’re not possessed by some ancient spirit that craves human flesh.”

  “The story of the Wendigo has been passed down for generations in my family,” another man says. “How else do you explain why so many have gone insane?”

  “Because the food was taken—”

  “Yeah, I’ve tried to get them to listen,” my escort says from behind me.

  The man in front of me takes my blood in a hurry behind a doorway in front of me and to my left. I rub Hunter behind his ears to keep him calm. He pants hot air on my leg in return.

  “Does your dog bite?” my escort asks nodding her head towards Hunter.

  “Only when I tell him to,” I say. “He’s really only been around me.”

  “No kids then?”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  She lets out a long sigh and sets her hands on her hips. “Well,” she says squatting down next to him. “Only one way to find out.”

  Hunter turns his head towards her and sniffs her hand. Eventually, his tail wags, and he lays on his back waiting for her to scratch his stomach.

  “Guess he does like other people.”

  “The kids will love having a dog around,” she says.

  “He’s clean,” the needle man says from the open door.

  “Well, I’d like to officially welcome you to our house,” she says pushing herself from the ground. “We’re running low on winter clothes, but here’s some we think will fit you.”

  The man who took my blood hands me thick corduroy pants and a green plaid flannel. I go to put them on, but the woman stops me. “Don’t you want to shower?”

  “Huh?”

  She shakes her head. “Sorry. I forgot you lived in the woods for a second,” she says. “Come on, this room right here.” We walk out of the foyer into the main hall. The old wood boards in the floor creak under my feet as we make our way to another doorway.

  The girl steps through and lights an oil lamp. The dim outlines of a bathroom glow against the flame. She turns on the water and lets it run through her fingers for a couple seconds. “The hot water tends to run out quickly,” she says wiping the water on her jeans. “It’s getting harder and harder to find gas.”

  “Ok,” I say. Hunter sniffs the water and hops into the bathtub letting it pour down on him. “Hunter—”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “I’m sure he needs a bath too. There’s a razor above the sink for you with some soap to shave with.”

  I nod my head. We stand in the bathroom in silence until I clear my throat. “I’m gonna get in the shower now,” I say.

  “Oh, right,” she mutters. “Sorry.”

  * * *

  I look in the mirror and barely recognize my reflection. The clean shave helped tremendously I assume. My cheekbones protrude from my face like wings. I look at my missing teeth; they’re yellowed from the months of malnutrition minus the ones that are missing from the gang members back downstate.

  Hunter shakes the water loose from his fur and sits on the tile floor. I throw on the flannel and button it to the top. I’m swimming in it, but it’s warm. The pants are huge as well. I tighten my belt into one of the notches I made so that they’ll stay up.

  My escort sits on the couch across from the bathroom door. “You don’t clean up half bad.”

  “I think I clogged your drain with my beard,” I say. “I can fix it.”

  “No worries,” she says shaking her hand. “You’ve got an appointment with Doc.”

  We walk into the foyer, and I can’t stop myself from thinking that I’m in a movie star’s house. The hardwood floors are polished to the point that I can see my reflection in them. Kids laughter fills the hallways throughout the house, and they echo down the the spiral staircase. A chandelier sparkles daylight from windows that I can’t see.

  “It’s a lot to take in,” she says. “When I found this place, I couldn’t believe it was untouched.”

  “Must be its location.”

  Hunter barks and then winces when it bounces off the walls in the house. He hides in between my legs.

  “Come on, I’ll show you both to your room first,” she says heading towards the staircase. We walk the rest of the way in silence. Once we reach the last step, she pulls a skeleton key from her pocket and unlocks a door just to the left of the stairwell.

  She pushes open the door and holds her hand out for me to go first. The room is painted a deep green. A queen size mattress lays neatly in a four-post bed covered in a matching green comforter.

  “It’s small.”

  “Not as small as the shed.” I pull Hunter into the room and lay him down on the bed. “I’ll be back Hunter,” I say. “Go to sleep.”

  He curls up into an impossible ball and closes his eyes.

  I close the door and follow the woman back down the stairs. It occurs to me that I haven’t asked her name. I’m sure it bothers her that she doesn’t know mine, but I honestly don’t care either way. This is just temporary until I can get my family back.

  “Where are you from?” she says once we reach the bottom of the staircase.

  “I’d rather not do small talk.”

  “Ok. Sorry for trying to fill in the blanks.”

  I clench my jaw until it throbs.

  “We separate the kids into a group called youngin’s. Once they’re eighteen, they’re allowed to stand guard at inspection. Inspection is required for new members joining our house,” she says after I’m guessing was an uncomfortable silence. “Hunting is done in pairs at the same time. No exceptions. Traveling outside of our perimeter is only allowed in pairs as well. Lights aren’t to be turned on. Candlelight or flashlight only. We’re trying to conserve gas in the generators. Got it?”

  “Sure.”

  “If you need anything, just ask. We won’t bite,” she says.

  I nod my head. She has a city accent. It vaguely reminds me of the words and phrases Hayley picked up while living in Queens. Ha. Queens—where Hayley disappeared to after college. Maybe my mind is trying to place things in this personal hell to make me hurt. Too bad I don’t feel anymore.

  We walk across the foyer again and through the back door. A guest house on the left has a swarm of children running and playing around it. We head right.

  “So you’re not going to tell me anything?”

  “No. I’m not here permanently,” I say. “I’m not joining your little following. I came here with you because you said you could he
lp me and obviously, I want to stay in the safest place I can while I wait.”

  “Right,” she says. “Well, how about you help me learn your name?”

  I look at her out of the corner of my eye and press my lips together. “Xavier.”

  “Xavier,” she says smiling. “There. Was that hard?”

  “Extremely.”

  We reach another guest house in the far right corner of the property before the woods. This one matches the white-pillared outside of the mansion. We walk through the doors, and a man with long black hair and olive skin looks up from his reading glasses.

  “We’ve got another one who needs your help Doc,” she says. “Teeth were knocked out quite some time ago. And he probably needs a cleaning.”

  “Well it’s nice to meet you,” the doctor says holding out his hand.

  I look down at his palm and frown.

  “Sorry Doc,” the woman says. “He’s adjusting.”

  A handshake. That’s what he wanted.

  “That’s all right,” he says withdrawing his hand. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

  I follow him past his desk. “Oh, Nikia,” the doctor says. “Don’t forget about the hunt tomorrow. We’re running low on meat.”

  She smiles and nods her head before exiting.

  “Nikia.”

  “Yup,” he says. “The one and only. Now, let’s see what we can do about these teeth.”

  New Year

  Hunter paces in circles in the room while I put my boots on. It’s been impossible to get away from these people here. Every waking moment, they wanna talk.

  This place is safe, Xavier. Safer than where you were.

  “It’s the only reason why I’m here Hayles.”

  Hunter stops and tilts his head.

  Things were simple between Hunter and I this past year. I trained him to hunt with me and shared my food with him. He definitely was the on the skinny side, but he cared about me and I did the same for him.